Prose
Prose is by far my favourite style of writing. It is one that I have always read, and felt comfortable writing. My trouble is just getting the time to finish!
Prose is by far my favourite style of writing. It is one that I have always read, and felt comfortable writing. My trouble is just getting the time to finish!
This was written for my college interview. The task was to include four things. A clock, a plumber, a kiss and a journey.
It was a hot summer’s afternoon and the traffic was chaotic. It seemed like everybody was trying to get out of the city at exactly the same time. Natalie sighed loudly and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, opening the window a little wider to let some more air in.
Natalie Thurrock was a lawyer, and a good one at that. After training for four years her heart and soul had been placed into her career, working all the hours god sends if need be, to get results. Today however, she had got the chance to go home early, due to a court case being postponed. As much as Natalie loved her job, she felt overjoyed at the early finish, something that rarely happened.
As the cars and buses crawled along the road, Natalie noticed little girls in their summer dresses, skipping along the pavement, and a group of boys kicking a football to one another. She smiled and thought how simple and happy their lives must be, a million times different to hers. Natalie had always intended to have children, but her career had gotten in the way, she hadn’t even had time to meet a nice man. Her mother nagged her about it every time she visited her, reminding her how at thirty nine she wasn’t getting any younger, if she didn’t hurry up and settle down soon she would miss her chance. Natalie knew she was right, she just didn’t know how to go about finding the right one.
The journey home seemed to be taking forever. Now Natalie could see the problem, there were road works ahead. Where had the signs been? Maybe she had missed them, her mind had been elsewhere. To her left there was a young couple, hand in hand; gazing happily into each others eyes. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world. To her right was a group of mums pushing buggies, one of them with a huge bump. It seemed today Natalie couldn’t get away from the fact that she was running out of time.
Finally, Natalie arrived at her house, and getting out of her car, her main plan was to get out of her heels and to relax with a nice cup of tea. She pushed open the door and walked straight through to the kitchen.
“Arghhhh!” She screamed. There was water everywhere. Looking around she could see it had come from the washing machine. Reaching for a mop and bucket, Natalie slowly started to clean up the mini flood. This was the last thing she needed.
Looking at the clothes that had been inside the drum, plus the huge pile that had laid on the floor, Natalie knew that the washing machine couldn’t wait. Most people would probably have left it until the weekend, and then go and buy themselves a new one. As a lawyer, Natalie had umpteen suits and shirts to wash. It was part of her job to look immaculate. It created a professional look that was expected, not just by her clients, but by the rest of the legal team.
Natalie leafed through the yellow pages and found the number for a local plumber. She noted how nice he had sounded on the phone, telling her not to panic, and that he would be there within the hour. While she waited, Natalie make a cuppa and flicked through a magazine. But she couldn’t relax. She found herself checking the clock. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. “Come on, hurry up” She said aloud. Although she wasn’t sure why she was in such a hurry for him to get here, it wasn’t as if she had anything else to do apart from a pile of boring paperwork, to be completed after her boring microwave dinner for one.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. “Just like my body clock!” Natalie laughed. She often found herself talking to herself, she could never quite decide whether she was going mad, or just wanted the company, even though it was only the sound of her own voice. She rarely had any visitors, all her friends had got husbands and children to look after , and even at weekends Natalie sometimes stayed at the office late to catch up with emails and case notes. There was no getting away from the fact that she was lonely.
DING DONG Natalie peeped through the net curtains and saw a white plumbers van parked next to her Audi. Before opening the door, she quickly checked her reflection in the hall mirror; her long dark hair was pulled into a neat ponytail, and her subtle make up had lasted throughout the day. She smoothed down her cream shirt and black pencil skirt and quickly ran to the door.
There, on Natalie’s doorstep, stood a six foot something, handsome man in dark blue overalls. His hair was dark and ruffled and he had big brown eyes which, as Natalie mentally noted, were the kind of eyes that you could find yourself staring into all day.
“Hi, I’m Matt, the plumber. You called about your washing machine?”
“Yeah, hi, I’m Natalie, come on in”. Natalie led Matt through to the kitchen. Placing his tool box carefully down onto the freshly mopped white floor, Matt knelt down in front of the machine and Natalie instantly found herself looking at his bum, not bad she thought. She flicked the kettle on and turned her thoughts back to Matt, she wondered what it would be like to kiss those soft lips, to hold him close to…..
“I er think these must be yours?” Winking at her, Matt held out a pair Natalie’s silk knickers. She flushed with embarrassment. They must of got left in the drum when she had dragged everything else out.
“Thanks”, said Natalie quietly still rosy cheeked. How could she make a complete fool out of herself in her own home, with a really cute guy? Matt didn’t seem too bothered though, he was still grinning. He must’ve seen far worse working in peoples houses, Natalie thought. Handing him his cup of tea, trying not to spill it over him, now that would’ve topped the knicker thing, she asked “ Any idea what caused it to leak? Will it take long to fix?”
Matt turned to her and winked again, flashing her a gorgeous smile. Was that a twinkle she saw in his eye? “You trying to get rid of me already”? He joked. “Will your husband be jealous if he comes home to find you alone with another man“?! He was laughing, but Natalie thought she could sense some hope in his eyes. Maybe that was wishful thinking on her part.
“I’m not married, I live here alone.”
“ Sorry, I just assumed, gorgeous looking woman like you cant be single surely”.
“I bet you say that to all the girls” Natalie teased.
“Only the ones with silk undies!” Now it was Matt’s turn to tease, and there was that smile again, Natalie thought she may faint if he kept looking at her like that. “Now miss, your door seal is gonna need replacing, but I got a few in the van that may fit this model. Then I’ll be out of your way so you can enjoy your evening.”
“Oh there’s no rush,” Natalie said quickly, suddenly realising that she didn’t want him to go yet. “My microwave meal for one can wait a while longer.”
Matt flashed her that grin again, and this time she saw he had the most perfect little dimples. “I think we can do better than that. Let me take you out for dinner……………….”
THE END
JULIE'S CONFESSION
Julie escaped to her room, desperate for some peace. A good gossip with the girls would usually take her mind off things, but today she just needed some time alone. She picked up the newspaper that she had found in the corridor and started flicking through the pages. A headline immediately caught her eye.
“MORE REPORTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”
The words just seemed to scream out at her. A shiver went down her spine and her hands started to shake. It was all too raw, too recent, these feelings she had. Julie got up and made herself a drink, telling herself off. “Its only words in a bloody paper”
She said aloud, hands shaking so much that she dropped the beaker and water spilt all over the floor. Ignoring the mess, she turned back to the article in the newspaper. Julie knew it was more than just words; this was proof that more and more people were going through what she had gone through, what she would never be allowed to forget.
“What’s been going on in here Jules?” Stacey, Julie’s room mate was standing in the doorway. Seeing all the water on the floor, she started mopping it up with paper towels. “You wet yourself?!” She joked. Julie burst into tears. What could she say? She had never opened up to anyone about what she had been through, but she had known Stacey a while now, so felt maybe it was time to talk about it.
“This article, I…I know what these women have been through.
Stacey quickly scanned the page and looked at Julie sympathetically.
“Your old man, did he knock you about? You’ve never really spoken about him”.
Julie sunk down onto the bed and began to pour her heart out to the only person she felt she could trust.Fidgeting with a loose thread on her jumper, Julie nervously told her story.
“Neil used to be so lovely. Really romantic, always buying me little presents, taking me out, he treated me like a princess. I fell in love with him very quickly and we married a year later. I couldn’t see it at the time but I guess looking back the problems started as soon as he had that ring on my finger. He started to demand sex more often, telling me as his wife it was my duty. I was terrified he would cheat on me if I didn’t keep up to his demands. He wanted me to dress up for him in the bedroom, which I didn’t mind, sometimes it was quite fun, yet when I went out, even to the shops, he would always have an opinion on what I was wearing. And you know us girls we like to dress up don’t we?”
“Oh yeah definitely”. Agreed Stacey. “Men don’t understand that we like to look nice for ourselves, they assume we want to pull other blokes”.
“Exactly, so he started to come clothes shopping with me, which at first I thought was sweet. I mean how many husbands do that? But he would pick things out for me, roll neck jumpers, baggy jeans and boring shoes; insisting they would suit me, and that he would pay. I told myself that maybe as a married woman I should be wearing different clothes so I went along with it. I stopped wearing make up to please him, but I didn’t feel like “me”. Then he got so he would start checking my phone, my emails, and my bank statements. It was like he didn’t trust me but I didn’t know why, because I never gave him any reason not to. I started to feel quite down about it and began to comfort eat, which made me put on weight. Neil picked up on that and started calling me a fat cow and a lazy bitch, that I obviously wasn’t pulling my weight around the house. When I reminded him that I worked a 40 hour week same as him, he told me that maybe it was time I quit my job and be a stay at home wife, and mum.”
“A mum?” Stacey gasped. “I didn’t know you had a kid!”
“I haven’t. I fell pregnant quite quickly but miscarried.”
“Oh god I’m so sorry Jules”.
“It was awful”. Julie continued. “I cried all the time; I felt like a failure, that I couldn’t even provide my husband with the child that he so badly wanted.”
“But did you want a baby?”“Not at that moment in time but back then I would’ve done anything to keep him happy. He was my husband. He came from a large family so I guess it was only natural that he wanted children once we had got married. I wanted to concentrate on my career but I put him first. So we tried again for another baby. But every month we would get our hopes up, only for the tests to be negative. I started to dread the trip to the chemists to buy them. I knew he would be so upset and angry when he didn’t get the result he wanted. He would shout and tell me it was my fault, and that there must be something wrong with me. “
“Oh honey that’s awful”. Stacey reached out and held Julies hand, and saw that she had tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t sure how to comfort her friend; she had never experienced anything like what Julie had. She suddenly felt very lucky to have a lovely boyfriend, and couldn’t imagine him ever being like this Neil character.
“One evening when he got home from work,” Julie sniffed, her hands shaking and her face red and puffy from crying.” He saw a text on my phone from a male friend. It was only asking how I was and if there was any luck with the baby plans. I hadn’t thought to delete it and when Neil read it he went mad, accusing me of having an affair with this friend. He started shouting and throwing his fists about, punching a hole in the door. I screamed and ran upstairs, terrified he may hit me. He came to apologize straight away and explained that he was just under pressure at work, and that it was just a one off.”
“And was it”?
“No. He was fine for a few weeks but then came home from work one night in a foul mood, saying that a colleague’s wife had become pregnant after just two months of trying. Again he started telling me that there must be something wrong with me. My heart sunk. Maybe there was. Maybe I should go for tests. But he interrupted my thoughts when he put his face right up close to mine, and he growled at me “I don’t think we have been trying hard enough”. I told him I wasn’t in the mood for sex and that I needed to get his dinner ready but he pulled me upstairs quite forcefully, almost dragging me. He pushed me onto the bed and pinned me down with his strong arms. I really didn’t want him to but he wasn’t listening to my protests, and I couldn’t push him away. He told me I would give him a baby however many times he had to do this.”
“He raped you? Bastard. Did you report him to the police?”
“No, how could I? He told me it wasn’t rape, as I was his wife and it was my duty. I didn’t mention it again as I was just so desperate to make him happy. Every night after that he made me have sex with him. I felt powerless.”
“Come here babe”. Stacey put her arm around Julie, and Julie cried hard on her shoulder. She’d never spoken to anyone about what Neil had done. She didn’t even like to think about it, pushing it to the back of her mind whenever it crept up on her. But it wasn’t easy for her. She had too much time on her hands. The days just seemed to drag and she longed for the day when she could start over again. She dreamed of a new life, somewhere that nobody would know her or judge her. She wasn’t interested in meeting another man; her experience with Neil had put her off relationships for life.
Julie looked up at Stacey and saw the shocked look on her face. Had she said too much? Should she continue to pour her heart out? Maybe it wasn’t fair to tell her the whole terrifying story when she knew that Stacey had enough problems of her own. But Stacey looked at Julie expectantly; she wanted to help her friend through this difficult ordeal and wished that she had met her sooner so that she could’ve supported her. She wondered where Julie’s friends and family had been but didn’t like to ask too many questions. So she just said
“It’s ok Jules you can tell me”.
“One evening he got home really late, as I was then getting into bed. I knew what was expected of me but somehow I managed to speak up, refusing point blank to sleep with him. We argued and I plucked up the courage to tell him I didn’t want a baby yet. WHACK! He punched me hard in the face. I fell to the ground. I looked at him, horrified. He came towards me and I scrambled away from him into the corner of the room. I remember our conversation like it was yesterday. Spitting in my face he said”
“Get up you stupid cow”.
“You keep away from me, you bastard He grabbed me by my hair, and then dragged me to my feet. I had never felt so terrified in my entire life. He pushed his face up close to mine and I could smell he had been drinking, something that he rarely did. I thought maybe this was why he was behaving this way.
“Everyone else’s wives obey their husbands. Why can’t you just do as you are told? “
“Why the bloody hell should I? I ain't putting up with this shit! And I ain't sticking round hear staying married to a fat fucking rapist!!!. “
Stacey got hold of Julie’s hand.
“You stuck up for yourself. Good girl”.
“I don’t know where I found the strength to snap at him like that, but he didn’t like it. I saw the look of anger on his face, his eyes, they looked evil. I struggled to get free and seeing my hair straighteners lying on the side, i cracked him round the head with them then ran out of the bedroom and onto the landing. Only seconds behind me he grabbed me and told me I was going nowhere. I tried to fight back, but he threw me up against the wall, one hand around my throat and the other trying to unzip his jeans. I wasn’t going to let this happen again, I couldn’t. I owed it to myself to stop him. With every bit of strength I had left, I pushed and pushed his heavy body away from me, yet he slammed me back against the wall, the bannister digging in my back. I thought he was going to kill me. Raising my leg up I kneed him as hard as I could in the nuts. He lost his grip of me and tripped, I think it must've been over his trousers. I didn’t realise how close we were to….”
“To what Jules?” She gripped Julies hand firmly, very concerned about what her friend was about to say next.
“The stairs, he tumbled down and down, it seemed to happen in slow motion. I remember reaching out to try and stop him, but it was too late. He hit the bottom step and just lay there. I don’t know how long I stood there, totally in shock. I felt as if I couldn’t move, or breathe. Eventually I rushed down the steps and shook him, but he didn't wake up.. I kept calling his name... Neil, Neil!!!!”
Julie was crying hard now and finding it difficult to breathe. Stacey now understood what had happened. Neil was dead. This was why Julie was here. Suddenly the cell door swung open and the prison officer announced
“Julie smith, its time for your sentencing”.
THE END.
Mr Y
“Sometimes I find myself thinking how the hell did I get here? And sometimes I think I just cant do this anymore. I want time out, and I want help. But I don’t know where to start. Feel lost. A lost cause. Feel like giving up. But that’s all I ever do.”I looked up nervously at the man sitting opposite me. He was staring back at me. Did I really just say all that out loud?
His name is Clive. But he doesn’t look like a Clive. I’m not sure why exactly, because I don’t even know any Clive’s, but you know what I mean. I’d say he looked more like a Simon, or as Mark, handsome with a clean shaven face and big blue sparkling eyes, hair slicked forward with gel but then with a slight quiff at the front, the way a lot of guys do these days. Like Mr Y did. Damn! Must not let Mr Y creep into my mind, I’m here to sort my life out. It’s no use, he’s in my head now, so I may as well tell you about him.
I first met Mr Y about ten years ago. I had chosen to eat my lunch by the lake that day. Usually I would stay in the office and work through, but that particular day I had had the most annoying headache, partly due to the wine I had consumed the night before; my best friend Karen had landed on my doorstep, clutching two bottles of red and in possession of a broken heart. Welcoming her in to my flat, she began whining how Rob the nob (that’s what I called him) had just called things off, giving her the lame excuse of “I just don’t have time for a relationship right now”, which was true, seeing as he had been seen out with at least three other girls in the eight weeks that him and Karen had been together. But could I tell her that? It had kept me awake at night, worrying about how it would affect her, and our friendship, if I had came clean about what I had seen. So I will admit I took the cowards way out, so I’m a failure as well as a rubbish friend.
So there I was, sat on a bench by the lake, nursing my hangover. I probably looked as rough as I felt, I’d not bothered with make up that morning, just showered and scraped my hair back into a long ponytail before dragging myself to work.
“Excuse me, have you got the time?”I pulled my aching head up, and moved my hand over the top of my eyes, to stop myself being blinded by the sun. There in front of me stood this guy, handsome but a bit rough around the edges. His jeans hung off his skinny frame and he needed a shave. But seeing as I wasn’t exactly looking my best today I wasn’t in a position to judge. His dark hair was styled like David Beckham’s, which was a bonus. And his scent. Oh he smelt good.
(to be continued)
It was a hot summer’s afternoon and the traffic was chaotic. It seemed like everybody was trying to get out of the city at exactly the same time. Natalie sighed loudly and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, opening the window a little wider to let some more air in.
Natalie Thurrock was a lawyer, and a good one at that. After training for four years her heart and soul had been placed into her career, working all the hours god sends if need be, to get results. Today however, she had got the chance to go home early, due to a court case being postponed. As much as Natalie loved her job, she felt overjoyed at the early finish, something that rarely happened.
As the cars and buses crawled along the road, Natalie noticed little girls in their summer dresses, skipping along the pavement, and a group of boys kicking a football to one another. She smiled and thought how simple and happy their lives must be, a million times different to hers. Natalie had always intended to have children, but her career had gotten in the way, she hadn’t even had time to meet a nice man. Her mother nagged her about it every time she visited her, reminding her how at thirty nine she wasn’t getting any younger, if she didn’t hurry up and settle down soon she would miss her chance. Natalie knew she was right, she just didn’t know how to go about finding the right one.
The journey home seemed to be taking forever. Now Natalie could see the problem, there were road works ahead. Where had the signs been? Maybe she had missed them, her mind had been elsewhere. To her left there was a young couple, hand in hand; gazing happily into each others eyes. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world. To her right was a group of mums pushing buggies, one of them with a huge bump. It seemed today Natalie couldn’t get away from the fact that she was running out of time.
Finally, Natalie arrived at her house, and getting out of her car, her main plan was to get out of her heels and to relax with a nice cup of tea. She pushed open the door and walked straight through to the kitchen.
“Arghhhh!” She screamed. There was water everywhere. Looking around she could see it had come from the washing machine. Reaching for a mop and bucket, Natalie slowly started to clean up the mini flood. This was the last thing she needed.
Looking at the clothes that had been inside the drum, plus the huge pile that had laid on the floor, Natalie knew that the washing machine couldn’t wait. Most people would probably have left it until the weekend, and then go and buy themselves a new one. As a lawyer, Natalie had umpteen suits and shirts to wash. It was part of her job to look immaculate. It created a professional look that was expected, not just by her clients, but by the rest of the legal team.
Natalie leafed through the yellow pages and found the number for a local plumber. She noted how nice he had sounded on the phone, telling her not to panic, and that he would be there within the hour. While she waited, Natalie make a cuppa and flicked through a magazine. But she couldn’t relax. She found herself checking the clock. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. “Come on, hurry up” She said aloud. Although she wasn’t sure why she was in such a hurry for him to get here, it wasn’t as if she had anything else to do apart from a pile of boring paperwork, to be completed after her boring microwave dinner for one.
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. “Just like my body clock!” Natalie laughed. She often found herself talking to herself, she could never quite decide whether she was going mad, or just wanted the company, even though it was only the sound of her own voice. She rarely had any visitors, all her friends had got husbands and children to look after , and even at weekends Natalie sometimes stayed at the office late to catch up with emails and case notes. There was no getting away from the fact that she was lonely.
DING DONG Natalie peeped through the net curtains and saw a white plumbers van parked next to her Audi. Before opening the door, she quickly checked her reflection in the hall mirror; her long dark hair was pulled into a neat ponytail, and her subtle make up had lasted throughout the day. She smoothed down her cream shirt and black pencil skirt and quickly ran to the door.
There, on Natalie’s doorstep, stood a six foot something, handsome man in dark blue overalls. His hair was dark and ruffled and he had big brown eyes which, as Natalie mentally noted, were the kind of eyes that you could find yourself staring into all day.
“Hi, I’m Matt, the plumber. You called about your washing machine?”
“Yeah, hi, I’m Natalie, come on in”. Natalie led Matt through to the kitchen. Placing his tool box carefully down onto the freshly mopped white floor, Matt knelt down in front of the machine and Natalie instantly found herself looking at his bum, not bad she thought. She flicked the kettle on and turned her thoughts back to Matt, she wondered what it would be like to kiss those soft lips, to hold him close to…..
“I er think these must be yours?” Winking at her, Matt held out a pair Natalie’s silk knickers. She flushed with embarrassment. They must of got left in the drum when she had dragged everything else out.
“Thanks”, said Natalie quietly still rosy cheeked. How could she make a complete fool out of herself in her own home, with a really cute guy? Matt didn’t seem too bothered though, he was still grinning. He must’ve seen far worse working in peoples houses, Natalie thought. Handing him his cup of tea, trying not to spill it over him, now that would’ve topped the knicker thing, she asked “ Any idea what caused it to leak? Will it take long to fix?”
Matt turned to her and winked again, flashing her a gorgeous smile. Was that a twinkle she saw in his eye? “You trying to get rid of me already”? He joked. “Will your husband be jealous if he comes home to find you alone with another man“?! He was laughing, but Natalie thought she could sense some hope in his eyes. Maybe that was wishful thinking on her part.
“I’m not married, I live here alone.”
“ Sorry, I just assumed, gorgeous looking woman like you cant be single surely”.
“I bet you say that to all the girls” Natalie teased.
“Only the ones with silk undies!” Now it was Matt’s turn to tease, and there was that smile again, Natalie thought she may faint if he kept looking at her like that. “Now miss, your door seal is gonna need replacing, but I got a few in the van that may fit this model. Then I’ll be out of your way so you can enjoy your evening.”
“Oh there’s no rush,” Natalie said quickly, suddenly realising that she didn’t want him to go yet. “My microwave meal for one can wait a while longer.”
Matt flashed her that grin again, and this time she saw he had the most perfect little dimples. “I think we can do better than that. Let me take you out for dinner……………….”
THE END
JULIE'S CONFESSION
Julie escaped to her room, desperate for some peace. A good gossip with the girls would usually take her mind off things, but today she just needed some time alone. She picked up the newspaper that she had found in the corridor and started flicking through the pages. A headline immediately caught her eye.
“MORE REPORTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”
The words just seemed to scream out at her. A shiver went down her spine and her hands started to shake. It was all too raw, too recent, these feelings she had. Julie got up and made herself a drink, telling herself off. “Its only words in a bloody paper”
She said aloud, hands shaking so much that she dropped the beaker and water spilt all over the floor. Ignoring the mess, she turned back to the article in the newspaper. Julie knew it was more than just words; this was proof that more and more people were going through what she had gone through, what she would never be allowed to forget.
“What’s been going on in here Jules?” Stacey, Julie’s room mate was standing in the doorway. Seeing all the water on the floor, she started mopping it up with paper towels. “You wet yourself?!” She joked. Julie burst into tears. What could she say? She had never opened up to anyone about what she had been through, but she had known Stacey a while now, so felt maybe it was time to talk about it.
“This article, I…I know what these women have been through.
Stacey quickly scanned the page and looked at Julie sympathetically.
“Your old man, did he knock you about? You’ve never really spoken about him”.
Julie sunk down onto the bed and began to pour her heart out to the only person she felt she could trust.Fidgeting with a loose thread on her jumper, Julie nervously told her story.
“Neil used to be so lovely. Really romantic, always buying me little presents, taking me out, he treated me like a princess. I fell in love with him very quickly and we married a year later. I couldn’t see it at the time but I guess looking back the problems started as soon as he had that ring on my finger. He started to demand sex more often, telling me as his wife it was my duty. I was terrified he would cheat on me if I didn’t keep up to his demands. He wanted me to dress up for him in the bedroom, which I didn’t mind, sometimes it was quite fun, yet when I went out, even to the shops, he would always have an opinion on what I was wearing. And you know us girls we like to dress up don’t we?”
“Oh yeah definitely”. Agreed Stacey. “Men don’t understand that we like to look nice for ourselves, they assume we want to pull other blokes”.
“Exactly, so he started to come clothes shopping with me, which at first I thought was sweet. I mean how many husbands do that? But he would pick things out for me, roll neck jumpers, baggy jeans and boring shoes; insisting they would suit me, and that he would pay. I told myself that maybe as a married woman I should be wearing different clothes so I went along with it. I stopped wearing make up to please him, but I didn’t feel like “me”. Then he got so he would start checking my phone, my emails, and my bank statements. It was like he didn’t trust me but I didn’t know why, because I never gave him any reason not to. I started to feel quite down about it and began to comfort eat, which made me put on weight. Neil picked up on that and started calling me a fat cow and a lazy bitch, that I obviously wasn’t pulling my weight around the house. When I reminded him that I worked a 40 hour week same as him, he told me that maybe it was time I quit my job and be a stay at home wife, and mum.”
“A mum?” Stacey gasped. “I didn’t know you had a kid!”
“I haven’t. I fell pregnant quite quickly but miscarried.”
“Oh god I’m so sorry Jules”.
“It was awful”. Julie continued. “I cried all the time; I felt like a failure, that I couldn’t even provide my husband with the child that he so badly wanted.”
“But did you want a baby?”“Not at that moment in time but back then I would’ve done anything to keep him happy. He was my husband. He came from a large family so I guess it was only natural that he wanted children once we had got married. I wanted to concentrate on my career but I put him first. So we tried again for another baby. But every month we would get our hopes up, only for the tests to be negative. I started to dread the trip to the chemists to buy them. I knew he would be so upset and angry when he didn’t get the result he wanted. He would shout and tell me it was my fault, and that there must be something wrong with me. “
“Oh honey that’s awful”. Stacey reached out and held Julies hand, and saw that she had tears streaming down her face. She wasn’t sure how to comfort her friend; she had never experienced anything like what Julie had. She suddenly felt very lucky to have a lovely boyfriend, and couldn’t imagine him ever being like this Neil character.
“One evening when he got home from work,” Julie sniffed, her hands shaking and her face red and puffy from crying.” He saw a text on my phone from a male friend. It was only asking how I was and if there was any luck with the baby plans. I hadn’t thought to delete it and when Neil read it he went mad, accusing me of having an affair with this friend. He started shouting and throwing his fists about, punching a hole in the door. I screamed and ran upstairs, terrified he may hit me. He came to apologize straight away and explained that he was just under pressure at work, and that it was just a one off.”
“And was it”?
“No. He was fine for a few weeks but then came home from work one night in a foul mood, saying that a colleague’s wife had become pregnant after just two months of trying. Again he started telling me that there must be something wrong with me. My heart sunk. Maybe there was. Maybe I should go for tests. But he interrupted my thoughts when he put his face right up close to mine, and he growled at me “I don’t think we have been trying hard enough”. I told him I wasn’t in the mood for sex and that I needed to get his dinner ready but he pulled me upstairs quite forcefully, almost dragging me. He pushed me onto the bed and pinned me down with his strong arms. I really didn’t want him to but he wasn’t listening to my protests, and I couldn’t push him away. He told me I would give him a baby however many times he had to do this.”
“He raped you? Bastard. Did you report him to the police?”
“No, how could I? He told me it wasn’t rape, as I was his wife and it was my duty. I didn’t mention it again as I was just so desperate to make him happy. Every night after that he made me have sex with him. I felt powerless.”
“Come here babe”. Stacey put her arm around Julie, and Julie cried hard on her shoulder. She’d never spoken to anyone about what Neil had done. She didn’t even like to think about it, pushing it to the back of her mind whenever it crept up on her. But it wasn’t easy for her. She had too much time on her hands. The days just seemed to drag and she longed for the day when she could start over again. She dreamed of a new life, somewhere that nobody would know her or judge her. She wasn’t interested in meeting another man; her experience with Neil had put her off relationships for life.
Julie looked up at Stacey and saw the shocked look on her face. Had she said too much? Should she continue to pour her heart out? Maybe it wasn’t fair to tell her the whole terrifying story when she knew that Stacey had enough problems of her own. But Stacey looked at Julie expectantly; she wanted to help her friend through this difficult ordeal and wished that she had met her sooner so that she could’ve supported her. She wondered where Julie’s friends and family had been but didn’t like to ask too many questions. So she just said
“It’s ok Jules you can tell me”.
“One evening he got home really late, as I was then getting into bed. I knew what was expected of me but somehow I managed to speak up, refusing point blank to sleep with him. We argued and I plucked up the courage to tell him I didn’t want a baby yet. WHACK! He punched me hard in the face. I fell to the ground. I looked at him, horrified. He came towards me and I scrambled away from him into the corner of the room. I remember our conversation like it was yesterday. Spitting in my face he said”
“Get up you stupid cow”.
“You keep away from me, you bastard He grabbed me by my hair, and then dragged me to my feet. I had never felt so terrified in my entire life. He pushed his face up close to mine and I could smell he had been drinking, something that he rarely did. I thought maybe this was why he was behaving this way.
“Everyone else’s wives obey their husbands. Why can’t you just do as you are told? “
“Why the bloody hell should I? I ain't putting up with this shit! And I ain't sticking round hear staying married to a fat fucking rapist!!!. “
Stacey got hold of Julie’s hand.
“You stuck up for yourself. Good girl”.
“I don’t know where I found the strength to snap at him like that, but he didn’t like it. I saw the look of anger on his face, his eyes, they looked evil. I struggled to get free and seeing my hair straighteners lying on the side, i cracked him round the head with them then ran out of the bedroom and onto the landing. Only seconds behind me he grabbed me and told me I was going nowhere. I tried to fight back, but he threw me up against the wall, one hand around my throat and the other trying to unzip his jeans. I wasn’t going to let this happen again, I couldn’t. I owed it to myself to stop him. With every bit of strength I had left, I pushed and pushed his heavy body away from me, yet he slammed me back against the wall, the bannister digging in my back. I thought he was going to kill me. Raising my leg up I kneed him as hard as I could in the nuts. He lost his grip of me and tripped, I think it must've been over his trousers. I didn’t realise how close we were to….”
“To what Jules?” She gripped Julies hand firmly, very concerned about what her friend was about to say next.
“The stairs, he tumbled down and down, it seemed to happen in slow motion. I remember reaching out to try and stop him, but it was too late. He hit the bottom step and just lay there. I don’t know how long I stood there, totally in shock. I felt as if I couldn’t move, or breathe. Eventually I rushed down the steps and shook him, but he didn't wake up.. I kept calling his name... Neil, Neil!!!!”
Julie was crying hard now and finding it difficult to breathe. Stacey now understood what had happened. Neil was dead. This was why Julie was here. Suddenly the cell door swung open and the prison officer announced
“Julie smith, its time for your sentencing”.
THE END.
Mr Y
“Sometimes I find myself thinking how the hell did I get here? And sometimes I think I just cant do this anymore. I want time out, and I want help. But I don’t know where to start. Feel lost. A lost cause. Feel like giving up. But that’s all I ever do.”I looked up nervously at the man sitting opposite me. He was staring back at me. Did I really just say all that out loud?
His name is Clive. But he doesn’t look like a Clive. I’m not sure why exactly, because I don’t even know any Clive’s, but you know what I mean. I’d say he looked more like a Simon, or as Mark, handsome with a clean shaven face and big blue sparkling eyes, hair slicked forward with gel but then with a slight quiff at the front, the way a lot of guys do these days. Like Mr Y did. Damn! Must not let Mr Y creep into my mind, I’m here to sort my life out. It’s no use, he’s in my head now, so I may as well tell you about him.
I first met Mr Y about ten years ago. I had chosen to eat my lunch by the lake that day. Usually I would stay in the office and work through, but that particular day I had had the most annoying headache, partly due to the wine I had consumed the night before; my best friend Karen had landed on my doorstep, clutching two bottles of red and in possession of a broken heart. Welcoming her in to my flat, she began whining how Rob the nob (that’s what I called him) had just called things off, giving her the lame excuse of “I just don’t have time for a relationship right now”, which was true, seeing as he had been seen out with at least three other girls in the eight weeks that him and Karen had been together. But could I tell her that? It had kept me awake at night, worrying about how it would affect her, and our friendship, if I had came clean about what I had seen. So I will admit I took the cowards way out, so I’m a failure as well as a rubbish friend.
So there I was, sat on a bench by the lake, nursing my hangover. I probably looked as rough as I felt, I’d not bothered with make up that morning, just showered and scraped my hair back into a long ponytail before dragging myself to work.
“Excuse me, have you got the time?”I pulled my aching head up, and moved my hand over the top of my eyes, to stop myself being blinded by the sun. There in front of me stood this guy, handsome but a bit rough around the edges. His jeans hung off his skinny frame and he needed a shave. But seeing as I wasn’t exactly looking my best today I wasn’t in a position to judge. His dark hair was styled like David Beckham’s, which was a bonus. And his scent. Oh he smelt good.
(to be continued)